This is Love

My son has now reached 16 weeks. The past four months have been both the happiest and the most difficult of times. In the end, what matters most is the three of us.

Anyhow, Liam has been sick for a very long time. Just when I thought he was getting better, he relapsed into even worse conditions. Liam's seen the doctor more than his grandparents. I pray and pray for a full recovery to come soon. 

On a brighter note, allow me to recap some of the bonding moments and the  milestones he's reached. 

1. So Liam has been the happiest boy ever, but before he sleeps, he throws a fit like no other. I then have to hold him in a cradle position for the most part and stride across the living room providing him with constant motion. The moment I lay him down on his crib is the most heart racing moment of my day, for fear that he would wake up, and I would have to do this routine one yet another time. And trust me, it doesn't always stop there. I think I did it up to literally eight freakin times. Lord have mercy.

2. But when he does sleep for the night, he sleeps damn well. Good baby. Gives me about eight hours to sleep each night. Now I better start taking advance and sleep earlier.

3. He brings his hands together and fidgets with his hand loosely clasped. The cutest thing ever.

4. He chuckles. This is absolutely the cutest thing ever. My hubs, sister, and I become circus clowns to hear one chuckle. So worth it.

5. He squeals. In a high pitched voice. The next Mariah Carrey we call him. Hurts our ears but research indicates he has found his voice and is only experimenting.

6. Liam loves to grab a hold of his bottle. Though he can't hold it upright and feed himself, he places his hands on the bottle so appropriately. Did I mention he is only on his fourth month now.

7. On Baby Bjorns babysitter, he can rock like no other.

8. Every time I say "I love you" he shyly smiles and looks down and away. Melts my heart. 

9. He likes to coo every morning the moment he wakes up. Tells me how fun his dream was haha.

10. He loves stretching his arms and legs with his mama. He opens his mout every time I stretch him, like there a open switch or something.

Anyhow, I'm in love. Everyone should have a baby. Teaches you what selfless love is and forces you to grow up and mature. At least, Liam did for me.

Oh Baby!

I honestly can not put into words all the different feelings I have towards my son. He is the epitome of cute and the only catalyst to maturing out of the yolo twenties and embodying the motherhood that really just hit me out of nowhere. Motherhood, not just the cute and cuddly dreamy moments between mother and child as seen on those softly lit black and white photos, but  im talking about the other end of  the responsibility, huge and totally imposing, to upkeep such a vulnerable creature with my own two baby hands. Puzzled and unsure, I do what I can.

Apple of My Eye

Do not forget

Today my dear husband screamed at me.... Over and over again. His voice lingers in my memory and the momentous scene replays repeatedly like a broken cassette player. I don't remember the words exchanged really but the face I can literally paint on canvas. His face was a face that was shaken up and infuriated with pride hurt like a lion reclaiming his throne... a face that was totally incapable of containment... His eyes were sharp and wide but racing to find a point to settle.. And beneath them reflected a fury that was boiling and smoking of hatred and uncontrollable wrath. That's it... It was uncontrollable... Too late was it to undo or reverse for the dancing flames grew into outright brush fire.  and consequently his mouth followed its orders. His soft lips were now robustly maneuvering to render  the words into a sort of communication that was taunting the two of us. His voice was the soundtrack... Like an unending abrasive classical music, it was thunderous and purposeful. lightening bolts, you might called them, high and powerful, that it produced voice slips acquired in male puberty. 

I hope you're happy. No sarcasm intended.

Postnatal Care in Korea

So Korea is renowned for its postnatal care centers. It's been reported that celebrities from other countries visit Korea after they give birth to recuperate at one of these facilities. Typically, after a woman gives birth, she spends three days in the hospital and then moves to one of these centers for two weeks. It is called 산후조리원 (san-hoo-joh-ree-one) in Korean and they are staffed with a number of nurses who are professionally trained to take care of both the mother and the baby. Having grown up in the U.S. where these centers are pretty much non-existent (or to my knowledge), I thought 'what could they possibly offer that I couldn't really do myself?' 'My few friends who had already given birth all took care of themselves in their own homes so why not me?' I thought Korean women were just overly sensitive after birth and these money-making facilities didn't live up to their value. However, when I talked to my cousins and read review after review on the centers, I opened myself to the idea of it and started a consultation tour around several postnatal centers near by home.

Simply put, postnatal centers are residences for new mothers where they are served with nutritionally rich food and a program of exercise and activity for recovery. The exercise may include postnatal yoga or pilates, and the activities may include making mobiles, breastfeeding instructions, newborn instructions, full body massages, etc. The newborn is taken into a separate facility inside the center where nurses watch and care for them 24/7. The facility is blocked by glass windows for sanitation purposes. If you decide to breastfeed, they either bring the baby to your room or you go to the baby yourself to feed every 2-3 hours. All the centers I visited said that they massage your  boobs as much as you desire so that you can avoid soreness or 뭉침, which I heard is a killer because it may result in 가슴몸살. The husbands may stay with their wives in the centers, and the food may or may not be provided to them depending on the center. Typically visitors are only allowed in the visiting room. Some don't even allow visitors because they believe that the new mothers need their full rest. (Visitors are most often in-laws hence the limit haha) All the centers provide both the maternity and newborn photoshoots. I think this sums up the general info on 산후조리원 :) Oh and you should reserve a spot as early as you can, but I did it just 3 months before my due date and faced no problem!

I believe I visited seven in total and got consultations. Yes, I had a lot of time after I got back from the US and I really needed a visit a handful to fully understand what to look for in a postnatal center. Here's my short review on them for all the new foreigner moms in Korea ^^

1. Naissance (서래 네송스):
PRO: facility is quiet and clean with good amenities. Gave us a good discount.
CON: the person I had a consultation with was a bit rude compared to others. They divide the place into levels, and the atmosphere was just cold, vacant, and withdrawn.

2. LaTerra (라테라 송파)
PRO: Just like a hotel. New, clean, and modern. Loved this facility
CON: This place is very new so not sure if they know what they're doing. I just couldn't see many reviews on Naver. And very pricey.

3. Hosan (호산 압구정)
PRO: Steps away from my hospital.
CON: not enough program. For example, massage was once or twice for the entire two weeks. Not so inviting.

4. Angelet (앙즐레 역삼)
PRO: price
CON: no programs offered during pregnancy. Food is not served inside the room. I'd much rather eat in the comforts of my own room. The location also was in a very busy building. I liked this one the least.

5. Amorium (아모리움 서초)
PRO: Their program was the best. Yoga classes offered both before and after birth. Newborn instructions, breastfeeding instructions, massages both before and after birth. Food delivered to the room. Husband's food provided at every meal (the only center that offered this). They bathe the baby inside the room everyday so that couple can learn. An awesome experience in my opinion :) The staff looks very warm and inviting.
CON: No individual 좌욕기 or something which is not a problem for me.

Anyway, we decided to go with Amorium, because of their program and first impression. We were also able to negotiate and bring the price down to what we were willing to pay. Very happy with our decision and I even already took the maternity photos at the partner studio just yesterday. Though my cheeks are about to explode like those of a chipmunk, I'm satisfied. They were free anyway.. yay!

Daily Schedule

Now that the big events have passed I.e. baby shower, birthday, and the maternity photo shoot, I'm ready to have a steady schedule for the rest of the pregnancy. This way I can keep track of my health plus responsibilities, and it may serve as a constant reminder.

So everyday I shall:

-walk for 2-4 hours. This can be done through shopping and walking to and from yoga.

- 4 days out of the week: prenatal yoga for one hour (mon/tue/thu/sat)

- at least 3 hours of art daily

- start my online class and get A's

Pretty simple but not when your sleeping schedule is messed up. I'm sure it'll come around.

Home Sweet Home

So I've come back to Korea late February.  It's been 3 weeks, I believe, and it feels like I never left. But when I do look back at my 2.5 months back in Cali, I feel like my time there was a dream-- a memory that is already deeply embedded in my brain and so far from reality. Warm weather, old friends, Kobe, and family. It was nice while it lasted and I cried like a baby upon my arrival to Korea, to which I was welcomed so incessantly by its brutal weather. 

Family: I did not realize how much has changed in the last five years. The exact five years that I was absent and in Korea living completely independent of them. I'm glad to see alot of good changes and  beginning to accept the few bad ones that have taken place.  But they were inevitable as distance and time will always influence in one way or another. I'm very happy that my family is more stable than before. They are so happy about the news of Tiger and have bought me baby things profusely here and there-- stroller, clothes, baby supplies, etc.  Anyway, they are going on a vacation to Jamaica this April. I'm so happy and excited for them, because they absolutely deserve it. My dad has worked too hard and my mom, like every girl, needs to experience an island vacation :D

Kobe: Where should I begin with this God-given object of adoration and beauty? He has cried and yelped the moment I walked into the house, jumping up and down, and then looking straight into my eyes. He did it for 15 minutes and I could hear him say, "Where have you been???!!!!!" I woke up everyday to Kobe in my face asking me to adore him.  He has so much 애교 that he even warmed up hubby's heart, who believes animals don't have souls. It hurts to be away from him, because he is my baby. I would walk him and seeing him happy outside would always makes me happy. He's the only reason why I would get my lazy self out of the house some days. He got sick twice when I was there. Both times, I was restless and it made me realize how much more I would care for Tiger when he is sick. I feel like Kobe allowed me to experience a mother's love in advance :)

Cabo: So hubs took me on a babymoon to Cabo. I highly recommend Cabo, because it is just gorgeous there and the flight is only about 2 hours from LA. We stayed all-inclusive at the Fiesta Americana Resort and both of us agreed that it was the most beautiful resort we had ever stayed in. The food was great, but how could I truly enjoy all-inclusive when I'm pregnant!? Hubs was buzzed the entire time and I was sober all day--errday. The beach was beautiful (though it is hard to swim there because of the rocks). I resorted to just dunking my feet in the water, (for I knew the current was too harsh for my otherwise agile swimmer self (joking!)), only to find fish of various types right there at my feet! It was like an aquarium and the water was crystal clear. There were schools of different types of fish but the most tropical fish that was like 3 feet away from me was Nemo's friend (the blue fish). I was so excited, because I love nature and God's creatures in their habitat :) Other moments that truly captured me include our private dining and the Mexican timeshare sharks. First, we opted for the private dining experience at the resort. This was not included in the all-inclusive and we were willing to pay extra.  This experience boasts a romantic atmosphere of private sunset dining in a cabana on the beach.  Since it was after sunset, they decided to accommodate us for free and set up the cabana in just an hour! I was amazed at the quality of service this staff was willing to go. It wasn't just the cabana, they set up a fire, a bed, beach chairs, and candles on the beach. After we had our fabulous dinner, we laid on the bed looking up at the stars and listening to hub's music with the sound of waves in the background haha. It was unforgettable. Next, o.m.g. Timeshare people are crazy and will not go into detail there. We were relaxed, tanned, and spoiled. I loved our babymoon.

Friends: I reconnected with old friends and it was truly nice seeing them after all these years. I have learned a lot about friendships and have left some in the past. But for the most of them-- I hope that our reconnections don't stop and we're able to share and bond from time to time like this.

No more fob status! So when hubs came, all of our efforts for his being a permanent resident became finalized! Yay! Congrats to newly greencard holder, HJC <3 We got his social security done and I-131 done. Hopefully I-131 went smoothly and he'll receive it in the mail shortly.