Thank you

I'm so blessed to have such beautiful people in my life. People who really care for my well-being, my present, and my future.  I really can't express this gratitude, but here is the first of my attempt: Thank you dearly and sincerely.  And there will be many more ;)

Just Let me be a Debbie-Downer for Today

Usually I'm good at hiding it-- putting on this "I'm so sure of myself; you couldn't contain this (with a hint of Latifah) show, but sometimes I'm such a fearful child, kind of like Nina from Black Swan. There are those few moments when I really feel insecure and it shows.  Like yesterday-- I smiled and answered in a stern tone, but I know they saw through everything.  As I walked out of the interview, bombs of humility and regret dropped their anguish upon me.  And it was just too heavy to lift--

Over 24 hours had passed and I'm now wrestling.  In the process of brushing it off.  Reflecting can be both positive and negative-- the instance of the latter has the tendency to string up all the "failed" moments, "humiliated" moments, etc and form it into one big "fail" over your forehead.  Don't worry-- I'm not there yet, but my mind did flirt with the thought of it.

Better days. Better days. Better days..

On In-Laws

In-laws can be the most awkward characters.  There's always that extra pressure to please and impress them, in hope that they love you.  Though I, for one, do not have in-laws just yet, I've felt the glimpse of accommodating to such "characters."

While he tells me to be myself and comfortable, there is an unending battle between comfort and the shoulda/woulda/coulda.  Korea has taught me that humbleness and self servient nature is the best representation of "good education" from parents, yet a full blown display of it can be quite awkward.  Where to find the balance... I'm learning and taking notes.

I'm lucky to have met such parents (to-be).  They are warm and kind-hearted.  Very welcoming.  Thank you for being you.